Do you find yourself saying “I’m too busy!” even during a pandemic where we’re not “doing” much of anything?
We all have the same 24 hours. Our days fill, but have you ever taken the time to do an inventory of where you allocate your time?
Time is one of our most valuable resources & yet we can be careless with it, take for granted that we’ll always have it or ignore the precious moment that we have right in front of us, caught up in worry about the past or the future.
Over time, we’ve learned to treat relationships with the same disregard that we treat time. We can be careless, take them for granted & ignore them when we are overwhelmed!
As Moms, sometimes we mistake being busy with being connected. After all, when we spend so much time “doing” for our kids, we understandably get caught up in busy-ness of life & can easily confuse them being attached to our hip, for being connected ;)
Sure, we talk all the time, but what are you talking about? Do you truly understand THEIR experience of life or do you simply projectile vomit your agenda & experience of life all over them? (Sorry for the graphic but this is what we do! Right?!)
Authentic connection is something that we build with our kids. It is made up of trust, boundaries, accountability, non-judgement, generosity, integrity & time.
Sometimes, we need to allow space, silence, for conversation to unfold, in order for our child to feel comfortable enough to share their thoughts, feelings & experiences without feeling pressured.
It is very difficult to connect with anybody else when we have not learned how to give ourselves the space to get in touch with our true self.
Connecting with our SELF requires these same key principles. Learning how to TRUST yourself , set BOUNDARIES, be ACCOUNTABLE, NON-JUDGEMENTAL, GENEROUS, & TRUE to your word requires guidance, in the same way that we are guiding our children.
In this email Lovely, I’m giving you permission to clear your agenda & make time to learn how to connect with your SELF.
This is not a free pass for a spa day! This is time & space to be vulnerable, to face truths that you may fear, to ask for help, to UN-learn why you believe to be true & to set yourself free from worry, stress & anxiety so you can be available for your child!
Since we just celebrated Mom’s for Mother's Day, I wanted to continue to showcase the Mothering spirit in this email.
“As the mother is, so is the family … since she is the key figure, family well-being depends very largely on the degree of her inner harmony & outward zest, her effectiveness & satisfaction in her role as a wife, as a mother & as a person in her own right.
Katherine Whiteside Taylor
The mothering spirit is the compass that keeps a family going in the right direction. It is a spirit that is within every human being, male or female. It nurtures, gives, loves & keeps us feeling safe.
Whether your Mom filled your emotional & physical needs or not, there is one thing I know for sure, if she could have, she would have.
It could be argued that none of us had the mother that we wanted, we had the one that we needed. If she couldn’t give you what you wanted, there’s a high probability it’s because she was unable to give herself what she needed.
While it would be nice for every child to experience a nurturing loving spirit from their mother as a child, no matter how great or absent your mom was, there is a part of us that remains a child. Our inner child tends to rear her head when we feel insecure, vulnerable or threatened.
In fact my own inner child starting kicking up trying to write this today! “I don’t have enough time, I don’t know what to write, I have too much to do, nobody will read this.” It also gets triggered in parenting!
Have you ever found yourself engaging in battles with your kids at the level of a child? “Because I said so, You NEVER listen, How many times do I have to tell you?”
Chronologically we may look like we’re 40, but emotionally our inner child tantrums like we are still 4 years old! We may have grown up physically but most of us have never really grown up emotionally. After all, where would we have ever learned to do this?
Stunted from trauma, our own unresolved emotional business or just not knowing skills to communicate & interact with our child effectively, we will pass on unhealthy patterns if we don’t do the work to grow ourSELVES up!
If you have not experienced a mothering presence in your life, or if you did but still feel your inner child activating, here’s the good news!!! As an adult it is OUR JOB to mother ourselves, & there is no better chance to do this then when we become a Mom. You can learn to become the mother you always wanted, for yourself & your child.
How would it feel to be less reactive & more peaceful? You can learn to respond instead of react, nurture, recognize & fill your own needs & to feel empowered & in control of your life, as a wife, a mother & a person in your own right!
If you’re a mom of adult children I’d like to invite you to a workshop on How to be a Conscious Parent to an Adult Child. It’s never too late to become aware of how we interact with our children & find ways to strengthen our relationship.
WEDNESDAY, MAY 26TH AT 730 PM $50
~ 2 hour Live Intimate & Interactive Conversation on Zoom.
~ Conscious Parenting Adult Children PDF tool cheat sheet!
~ Small Mother’s Day Gift to pamper yourself for doing the work!
~ Limited spots Register now to avoid disappointment!
~ Perfect for Moms with kids 16 & older.
Ask a friend to join you, grab a beverage of your choice & enjoy some productive Grown UP time!
* Date & Time subject to change based on groups overall availability.
Lindsay Lal Professional Coaching