One of the ways I set myself free from anxiety & needless suffering in my life was when I fully
understood the concept that there is no “good” or “bad.”
If you immediately feel resistance to this statement, repeat it & sit with it a few minutes longer. I’m sure you will find relief in embracing this practice too.
It’s human nature to like feeling “good” & avoid feeling “bad.” However we also reinforce the idea, that most things in life are “good” or “bad”, in our kids from a young age & did you know that it can be at the root of a lot of anxiety for them?
If something was neither good nor bad how would you feel about it? It would be hard to feel much about it, right?
When we assign a positive meaning to something, we perceive it as “good.” If we assign a negative meaning to it, we now perceive it as “bad” but in actuality, the event or thing doesn't change, it’s just our meaning of it! …. Life changing, I know!
See the event itself is simply neutral. By seeing anything for the neutrality that it is, we can learn to under-react, controlling our anxious feelings & healing the split created at a young age, when we learned that something was good or bad. Essentially we need to “unlearn” what we perceive to be truth or reality in order to release new, less anxious, feelings in our body.
This can be difficult with our kids, you might argue, because obviously there are somethings that will harm them & others that could benefit them.
Adding a positive or negative connotation to the things we experience in life creates a false sense of superiority or condemnation. Praise is just as much of a judgement as criticism, it’s just disguised in a softer package, but either way we unknowingly create a split within our child.
If I’m “good”, I’ll be liked, happy, successful & accepted so, if I’m “bad” I will be unliked, unhappy, unworthy & rejected; a human beings worst fear! This is the beginning of the even bigger division of “them” & “us” that we are seeing played out today.
If you insist on looking for what's “good” or “bad,” I assure you that you will find it! When you see things in the neutrality in which they actually exist, you will feel more empowered, safe & in control knowing that, no matter the outcome, your are able to cope knowing it is neither good nor bad, it just IS, now life becomes so much more enjoyable &, dare I say even, peaceful.
Good or bad? Who’s to say? Try it out this week & see if it makes a difference in every area of your life!