Don’t tell anyone (especially my husband) but I’m always wrong!
That’s right, just ask my kids! …. Well, maybe don’t! LOL! … It’s not just because they’re teens, & parents are never right, it’s because I make assumptions! Do you do this too?!
Have you ever called out your child for not doing something you asked them because you didn’t see them do it, only to find out they had done it already?
Have you accused them of being disrespectful when they were actually referring to something else altogether?
Or, have you yelled at them for being on their device when they were using it to do homework?
All assumptions gone wrong! Any time I make an assumption, I’m wrong 99% of the time, even though I believe with great certainty that I’m right!
Assumptions are at the root of most arguments. We can never fully understand another in our need to be right. Assuming we KNOW the answer will usually find us, at best unlikeable & at worst in constant conflict with our child.
As parents we sometimes get in a a bad habit of answering, instead of asking questions. We make assumptions about our child without proper investigation, which can dangerously affect the trust & connection between us.
I have made, & will continue to make, my fair share of mistakes with my children & many relationships in my life, I’m human after all. Learning how to become MORE EFFECTIVE & LESS AFFECTED by asking questions instead of making assumptions is one of the reasons that I became a coach.
“Everyone needs a coach. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a basketball player, a tennis player, a gymnast or a bridge player.” ~ BILL GATES
Getting a coach doesn’t mean that you’re not already doing a great job, on the contrary, it means you want to do an even better job! It means you acknowledge that there are places we all go wrong & skills that could be developed more.
If quarantine has taught us nothing else, it’s that possessions just don’t hold as much value as relationships. How much are you currently investing in learning to relate, communicate & connect with the ones you value the most?
Do a little experiment this weekend. ASK before you ASSUME. You may just be surprised how wrong you’ve been, & in the process experience an authentic moment of connection as you fully understanding your child.
Let me know what you find!